How to open up dialogue, even with those who generally don’t speak up.
Here’s how the conversation typically goes … you’re the leader and you “passionately” share an idea with the team. When you ask for feedback, you get blank stares and some mild head nods, but virtually no response. You are hoping that means agreement but what it really means is they don’t feel safe to speak up. Sometimes it’s simply the dynamics of a how others view hierarchy; the “don’t ever challenge the boss” mindset. Or if you tend to be a direct and assertive leader, your delivery may just be intimidating enough that they “zip the lip” because they don’t want to be challenged or put on the spot. More often than not, the team just doesn’t like conflict and is uncomfortable giving an opinion that may be different than yours, so they go to silence.
The question is how do you get them to feel safe so they will speak up? To open up dialogue, have an ABC Conversation. After sharing your perspective, ask the group (or individual):
- What do you Agree with?
- What would you Build on or add to what I shared?
- What would you Challenge or what do you see differently?
This gives others a comfortable framework to express their ideas and opinions. Collaboration, idea-sharing, engagement, and productivity start to rise and everyone wins!
One more thing to consider when trying to open up dialogue – people want to follow confident leaders and they will go to great lengths to avoid an arrogant leader. So, what is the difference between confidence and arrogance? Arrogant leaders tell teams what to do and are not open to input or suggestions – you know, they are seen as the “my way or the highway” type. They don’t gain buy-in from team members and often fail due to lack of engagement. Confident leaders, on the other hand, are self-assured in their ideas but consistently receive input from the team to make the ideas and results better. They are masters of the ABC Conversation.
